Half and Half

Watching - Dirty Sexy Money
Listening - Caribou's "Andorra" album on commercials
Eating - Starbucks decaf Cinnamon Dolce Latte frappuccino
Wearing - Grey sweats with the ankles pulled up mid calf, slate blue american apparel 50/50 t-shirt, grey cardigan, ponytail

Funny weekend - studying, social contracts, movies, music, death news, coffee, cigarettes, coffee, coffee, it's never ending.. *sigh*
Had a wonderful weekend. Lay in bed with Jared for far too short a time, and enjoyed every second of it, the short ones too. He has this bed with navy sheets, and this cowboyish jean bedspread thats been worn soft and heavy, one white pillow, the other a pink and green one from my sheet set.. It's so comfortable. Usually I hate sleeping here, but this weekend I can't seem to sleep at my house, I can't get comfortable or warm or happy... But here, for some odd reason, I can, and really well. It's.. nice. It makes Jared happy that I'm here. I think. I hope. *laugh*
He's out smoking shisha with the other drummers, and I'm working at Poli/Phil stuff and listening to new music. The new Caribou album is amazing, and makes me move in slow motion. *sigh* Happy - or on the verge.

Studying Away Saturday

Listening - Georgie James - "Cake Parade"

Watching - French cartoons on TV Cinque

Wearing - Black yoga pants and black hoodie, ninja boots, no make up

Eating - Lots of water, timmies coffee and the insides of a pizza pop

Thinking - Heidegger is really hard.

I'm hanging out in Jared's room for the day while he's at school, practicing. I'm studying my painfully easy and ridiculous Anthro text, and trying to muddle through some Heideggar. Just relaxing. I miss Jared, and am a little lonely. Even when he's here lately I'm a little lonely.. not sure why. Sometimes I feel like there are a million people around me and I can't connect with anyone.

Went to an art class on Thursday with Ian - a silkscreening class. Had a blast, made two raelly lovely prints that I'm going to post later. Went for a drink at Tzin after, a beautiful glass of red. It helped. Sometimes laughing at ridiculous things and getting your hands dirty in paint just...helps.

Pictures From The Past Two Weeks

The Lovers

Really? I was missing something.

Thursday, a sad prelude to Friday.

Listening - The Way I Am- Ingrid Michealson

Wearing - Brown sweater, blue jeans, green and silver ring, no shoes

Watching - The crane outside my office window, building the million dollar condos across from my slums.

Eating - Gluten free ginger snaps and water

Thinking - Whatever happened to mixtapes?

You know, I don't think my glass is half empty. I think my glass just got too big and now I might as well do a burlesque routine in it rather than make a to do list. WHich is what my mother always suggests at this point, when I have so much to do that I just lay in bed and do nothing at all. Make a list, not a burlesque routine. Which generally makes it worse (not making a list). Go figure. So I'm hanging out in my office going from Facebook to Facehunter to Coolhunter to blogger.. *laughing* Which makes me feel efficient. In a paralelle universe, I'm probably doing a whole lot actually.

The upside? I've now got 2 A+ from my hottie McHotProff. I'm dyin' here. He's also teaching my philosophy of Love and Sex class next semester, where he is seriously considering entering the Marquis de Sade into the curicculem. I will have to withdraw. If I have to listen to him reading that I might actually just explode into a supernova of embarrassment and giggles. I could barely contain myself when he repeated the phrase "erection of the state" in my poli phil class. I wasn't the only one. But de Sade? I'm toast. Buttered toast.

I've got an art class tonight, going out with Halls and the ladies tomorrow night for V's birthday, Saturday Jared's gone by 9, I have a mental health inservice to attend on Sunday, and Monday is a midterm. *laugh*

Fuck cups. I need a beer stein.

Lady Machiavelli Isn't Very Nice Either

It seems like I have a million and one things to say until I sit down at this god-forsaken piece of crap. Or that I have been things to do. Which I don't. I usually just fall asleep and am mean to Jared when he gets home. I'm a wench this past week. I'm pretty sure I called my mom so I had somebody to make me feel better and then realised it was probably just so I had somebody to be mean to and complain at. Not even to. I'm a wretch. And I need to fall down the stairs or something. *sigh*

Sunday.

ha.

Facebook for the Elite

A small world? Yeah. And a freakin' expensive small world at that.

What I Saw Falling Asleep Last Night

What Jared Sees When He Opens His Eyes

Drain(ing) Days

Listening: Jared practicing the drums

Wearing: Jeans, my communist party t-shirt, grey cardigan

Eating: Jared took me on a date to Brits for a deep fried Mars bar

Drinking: Strongbow

Watching: Meercat Manor

Oh tragedy. Jared and I bought a goldfish the other day, named him Herbert, and had to flush the poor dead thing 4 hours later. That's pretty much been a theme the past few days now that my mom went home! It was so nice having her here.. To have tea, to sit, to chat, to just not have to worry. I miss her, and forgot how wonderful she really was. Not truly forgot, but forgot in the way that only proximity can remind you.

Went to yoga last night swearing that I was going to keep up my excersising momentum and start on the "Quest to have Andrea fit in last semester's jeans"... and failed miserably today. Jared got up at 7, I got up at 7:15, went back to bed at 7:17 and didn't go to the gym. Instead I worked on menial tasks until my class at 2, which I enjoyed thouroughly then went to the Massage Students program and talked my way into 3 massages. Made Jared dinner, went on a date.. and still haven't gone to the gym. AND ate a deep fried mars bar. And have a meeting at 10. Shit.

Oh, and I got my period. Fuck it. Bring on the Mars bars.

Avarice-alicious

So we've had this enormous "royalty review" process happening here in Alberta. Apparently, somebody thinks that we're not making quite as much money as we should be in the oil field, and we're not charging enough, (36% too little apparently!) for Exxon and friends to be extracting our oil.

Now, I'm sorry, but who exactly is not making enough money here? Fort Mac has the richest homeless people in the world (they can't expand half as fast as they need to, so guys are making $300,000 a year and living in tents) a girl like me can go up there and make good money for god's sake. And yet, apparently our poor, poor province (who sent out a 400$ check to each of it's tax paying citizens a couple years back because we just had TOO much money in the provincial coffers) has realised that it could be making billions more.

The problem? The oil companies have said, sure, you're midline. We don't pay too much, we don't pay too little, to get your oil. But if you put those royalties up, you can sure as hell believe that we'll find somewhere else to get our tea. So shocked were they, that they called us.. *gasp* socialists! (Um.. haven't we been calling ourselves that for years?) I just think it's unbelievable.

Actually, scratch that. It's just SO believable. That's whats shocking. I hope they leave in a rush and our economy plummets. Maybe I'll get that one bedroom loft that I want for less than $455, 000 - and it'll be cheap to heat too.

You Should Go.

The Truth

"...only the one who draws the knife gets Isaac." - Kierkegaard

There Were Hillbillies Behind Us.

Farmers Market in the Retarded Convertible

This Is What Happens

When you take my brother and I to Costco.

Philosophy is hard and painful.

"Not only in the commercial world but in the realm of ideas, our age is holding a veritable clearance sale." - Kierkegaard

"Thow in morals, and I'd say we're having a fire sale." - Lorkovic, my phil proff.

My room in the evening light.

It makes me happy to have two windows.

This is so ghetto.

Nice tape job. It's the only way to label these god-forsaken cd's. Sheesh.

Ewwww.

For somebody who wants to be skinny, I just downed a Pilsner and ate a Pizza pop really fast. I should never be left alone in a boys room for long. And I want to start a band called Les Sads.

Sunday Eve

Wearing - brown sweater, jeans.. another pair of Jared's socks.

Reading - The new Nylon mag

Listening "MoneyMaker" - Rilo Kiley

Eating - blonde oreos and water

I really really should be reading, getting ahead for my phil classes. Instead I'm stuck in la la land reading fashion mags that make me feel fat and eating shitty food that makes me ACTUALLY fat. Jared's out with Kye doing God knows what at either a bar or a shisha place. My computer is in the shop, I have no tv, and I can't swallow anymore public radio, so I'm in Jared's room using his computer and eating food that only boys would eat - ie. blonde oreos. And trying to figure out how I'm simultaneously going to a) afford and b) squeeze my fat ass into Diesel's new fall stuff. Ah Monday. Back to the gym day. Damn.

Rilo Kiley, I heart you.

This makes me shake my MoneyMaker.

Jared's Photo of Me

Lazy Days

Listening - Mel Torme - Don't Get Around Much Anymore

Wearing - Jeans, Jared's socks, navy wool sweater, silver loop necklace my sister got me for my last birthday

Eating - Drinking raspberry zinger tea.. not going to lie, also just ate a fudgesicle.

Watching - "The Layer Cake"

We woke up at noon, got out of bed at 1:30, went back to bed at 2, made a portabello mushroom and goatcheese omelet at 3, walked down to the art gallery at 4:30, wandered around, Jared bought me an amazing orange Gerbera, we walked to the grocery store for ravioli and had a big candlelit dinner of pasta.. It was such a great day. It's been a while since we didn't have to rush anywhere, do anything major, be anywhere at a certain time.. I just made raspberry zinger tea, and we're going to cuddle up and watch a movie. I'm.. blissfully happy.

Views.

Starbucks when I left today, Jared and I relaxing and laughing, and my new bookcase and wall art.

Efficient.

I really love how efficient I get when I'm on an emotional high-ish. Mostly on the downslope, I get these really super productive days where I get SO very much done - today was a lucky one of those days. I've done all the primary and secondary readings for my classes tomorrow and the next day (which I'm sure will give me nightmares.. Being and Nothingness scares the CRAP out of me..), I've mailed, e-mailed, painted posters, done office work in advance, and still found time to run to Future Shop to get a recorder for my Lorkovic lectures, AND make dinner for Jared and Holly. And go to school. It's momentarily frightening, because I know what it is prelude to (a day of exhaustion, tears and abject inefficiency) but I'm trying to hold myself on the cusp and heave myself upwards a little to keep up the momentum.

I feel a lot better now that my room is clean too. I've actually cleaned up, not just rearranged in piles, so I actually have a bedside lamp, a clock within reach (I get these weird anxiety attacks if I can't find out what time it is.. and when Jared stays he sleeps closest to the clock and has to contend with me reaching over a million times a night to see what time it is.) .. so I feel better. I forget what a sanctuary my room is for me, until I don't have it and it's this raging disaster.. I even managed to fit in time today to make magnets for my fridge that has none, and looked up what art courses are being offered at the gallery this fall. Jared keeps telling me I need to start painting/drawing again, I think he's right.

Had a really nice Cointreau and chedder chicken, with wild rice and my goat cheese and strawberry salad with balsalmic vinegar/garlic and olive oil dressing. I love feeding people. Holly knows that when I'm ultimately stressed and falling apart I tend to start cooking for people and taking care of others.. and I think she loves it. *laugh*

Mother Theresa musta been a freakin' nut job, taking care of all those people. *laugh*

Art O' the Day

Resurrexit - Anselm Kiefer.

This is one of the only exhibits that I've seen more than twice, and bought the book as well.

But Then I Laughed REALLY hard..

..when I realised I was standing in line at the check-out of Safeway with soy milk, bananas and condoms. *snort*

oh dear.

I think I've pretty much just lived on coffee, my fake fingernails that I've gnawed off, and the occasional cigarette for the past 5 days. I forgot to have a cup of coffee this morning and now I have a roaring headache, bad enough that it feels like my head is going to implode or explode, I haven't decided which. I am so exhausted and anxious, and actually think my heart keeps speeding up and making me nervous. I don't know whats wrong with me. I'm getting the psycho feeling again.

More Planting Pics

Planting in a burn pile - you get a serious case of BPL, Burn Pile Lung, but you also plant a lot of trees in really nice soft land.

My friend Leanne's last day on a really horrible buggy block on our last day of spring plant.

Topless planting - Megan, out checker, snuck up on me. No bugs, some duck tape, and it's.. nice.