Sadisfactory.

So I had my performance evaluation for being an R.A. And I got a "satisfactory". And I was ok with that. Until everyone else got a "commendable". Like, almost everyone. I feel..so.. lame. I'm doing ok in school, and I'm doing ok in this? Whats the point if I can't be excellent in both? I'm one of those people.. if you can't be the best.. what's the point of being at all. And now.. now I'm satisfactory. And I feel pretty damn...unsatisfactory with that.

Lusticon #2

Paparrhotties - The hot paparrazzi - you know, like the women from Entertainment Tonight and Wild On. Paparrazzi + hotties. Elementary, yet brilliant.
Hauterflies - Haute Couture + butterflies. The people who flutter from one style to another, and can afford to.. Not to be confused with Hauterphiles, those sick individuals who know every stitch from every Tom, Jean and Phoebe line there ever was.
Whale Tail- That not so adorable triangle of plastic that splashes above your too low slung pants.

Nerd. Period.

I've been procrastinating finishing this big philosophy paper.. I mean, I have MAYBE 500 words left, sum it all up, put a nice bow on it. You know what I've been DOING to procrastinate? I've been reading Gabriel Garcia Marquez' "Strange Pilgrims". No, actually, I've read and finished Gabriel Garcia Marquez' "Strange Pilgrims". Fantastic book - 12 short stories, check it out when you have the chance. "Light is Like Water" was my favorite. I'm such a loser.

Friends Friends They Keep You Warm...

Craig and I at his birthday, Sabrina and I at dinner. They give me the warm and fuzzies. Mostly cause Sabrina lends me her sweaters.

Let It Snow! Let It Snow! But Let It Not Be Minus 30!

In the words of a friend," Jesus Horatio Christ. It's cold." And I would have to concur. It's horrible. It's cold. Your eyelashes freeze and your snot starts to run, and the wind is blowing and your fingers are frozen. I forget every year (somewhat like waxing and childbirth I imagine) exactly how bad Alberta winters can be.

The week has been busy though, with friends and fetes taking up almost every night, which is nothing to complain about. So with friends and the aid of innumerable hot buttered rums, I have made it through the worst of it with little anguish. I had an amazing dinner at Trent and Sabrina's (she's such a fantastic cook) and laughed the night away. It's funny, everytime I'm there we end up playing Trivial Pursuit into the night -my mother and father used to do the same thing with their friends, and it makes me smile everytime Trent suggests it.

Craig celebrated his birthday on Tuesday night, with a fantastic dinner at Four Rooms, with his wonderful friends. Seared Ahi in chilli coffee marinade.. amazing. And a lovely, hilarious Just For Laughs festival after. It was such an unexpectedly wonderful way to spend the evening. I enjoyed myself so much. There is something about the easy talk between people enjoying good food that just makes the evening. I was so happy to go - thank you Craig! And Happy Birthday!

Friday an impromptu group went out to the Roost - as you can see below.. warming that night up substantially with vodka and lime and 80's Madonna. Somehow it's so easy to sleep well after dancing.

Saturday was the Luncheon I've been organizing for work, a success if I do say so. Everyone looked beautiful, and smart and smiling - despite it being early and some of them being on duty until 6 that morning. I love having them all around, happy and full of cheer.. or martinis.. They're all so funny and interesting.

I've been baking non-stop, so my little kitchen smells like buttertarts and christmas cookies and buttered rum.. I'm not going to lie. Lots of buttered rum. I found a station playing the unending loop of Christmas Carols, I've prepped and addressed 55 Christmas Cards to mail, and I'm well ahead on school work. I know this is a scattered blog.. but things are great.. Wow.. I think it's been a while since I said that..

Hey.. So we got off work early...

..And went dancing at The Roost.. with our very very young front desk intern...wherein I got tipsy gratis on my connection to gorgeous bartender Allie from highschool.. Paige grabbed enough butts to make a pack, Kerry helped said intern show that he was straight.. what a night. And they say we had no friends in highschool.
PS- I think there needs to be a caption contest for what exactly Paige is saying to me in the second photo down that makes Ashley make a face like that... And me not react at all..

Seee? WATADOR.

"Just a Baby Sip."... "Bigger Baby."

Awesome night, the perfect cure to my essay blues. Aristotle in the bottle night.. Great food, caviar and cream on toasted panini.. yum... Champagne.. Black Current wine.. Malbec, Chardonnay, Cab/Merlots.. *sigh* I was in heaven. And I was dressed like a watador. Half waiter, half matador. As in, when a waiter runs away and into a bullring with a red napkin. Ergo - watador. Sexy. Sexier with caviar and champagne.

Shake Shake Shake

AHHHHHH... OK, I'm going through some serious withdrawal.. perhaps going cold turkey on both Starbucks AND Dr.Phil (and all other T.V.) was not the best idea around finals/exams. I seriously am having temporary insanity brought on by my lack of 700 calorie Peppermint Mocha-ccinos at Starbucks that results in piercing headaches and the shakes, and I have Jack McCoy's voice in my head interspersed with the theme of The Office and Dr. Phil. I'm dying here.

Delux Night With Friends

Kobe burgers, sweet potato fries, Thirsty Beaver beer (for Ian), Klondike Bar Martinis (for ME).. And fun with Anna and Ian. Yay. Oh. And the banana split. Sweeeet. And the fries? They come in a cart. Like, a la carte. Witty. Friggin' WITTY. So maybe they don't have Klondike Martinis in Platos cave.. but maybe they SHOULD.

Burning in Plato's Cave

Lists upon reams of lists of things to complete of things of things.. And now I'm wrestling (literally, wrestling, arm bars and all) with my phil essay on Plato's Cave Allegory and it's relation to current education and what not, and my roman numerals suck so I was reading something that had NOTHING to do with a cave and was really confused and now that I'm on the right track I'm a little LESS confused. And I just attempted to tutor a hockey player in analytical reasoning and realise I need to buff up on my hockey analogies... and logic isn't something that comes easy to somebody who thinks it's logical to put himself in front of a flying piece of hard rubber with only a stick to protect him. Hm. It's my random act of kindness.

The point is, I'm off the old blogosphere for a little bit, maybe some pictures every once and a while, but until this essay is done.. well, it'll probably be at least XII days?

It's 5 O'Clock Somewhere

Went for a bikini wax and Ian soothed my nerves after with wine and pasta in the middle of the day. Awesome. Window shopped and drank coffee and laughed and felt better after being a blind 11. Walked everywhere, feel healthy and happy. Or a seeing eye dog 8.

I'm a Fucking Blind 11.

On rounds last night, the only person nice to me called me the "hot" R.A. Gave me "an 11 out of a possible 10". Then somebody pointed out he was legally blind.

Malaise.. Gets Me Everytime. And the stripes they wear.

"Hey, I have this album of songs from a small Norweigen village called Sprockenstein that I think you'll like...they're totally off the radar and haven't been commercialized like most of the crap that 16 year olds are listening to here. Oh, and I play the guitar, but only for me - you can listen to my heartbreaking songs if you want...but whatever."


-Ian, on how boys win Andrea's heart.

Passo the Wino

PassoTempo is having a little holiday wine tasting the 23rd of November. 10$ at the door- pretty space, pretty people, and wine. Really. Could it get any better. Do it.

understood.

My mom told me once that sometimes the things that we love the most, can be the worst things for us. For the longest time I wanted to believe that she meant carbs or cigarettes or cheap booze.

I had a dream about Bryan. Where I told him everything I thought, everything I ever wanted him to hear, about him, about me, about us, where he just listened, and understood for once. And I realised so much. And when I woke up, I felt better.

And I understood. Like giving up carbs, like cheap booze and cigarettes, when you give them up - it still hurts, you still crave them. And maybe, it always will. Just a little.

Please, it's cold. And I'm Cool. *snort*

Lattes and Late Days

On one of my wonderfully lovely long days off I spent with Laura and little Tiago, having lunch and wandering around Whyte Ave. and painting. We met at the Sugarbowl for lunch, (where I discovered that the surefire way to make a baby stop crying is a soother full of creme brule,) and strolled down to 109th St. books. I picked up Jane Jacobs "Dark Age Ahead", Vonnegut's "Hocus Pocus", and Gabriel Garcia Marquez' "Strange Pilgrims". From there Laura got kick ass cowboy boots, we perused the rainbow racks at American Apparel and I got dressed up in royal blue. After that, we snapped up eggnog and mocha peppermint lattes at Starbucks, where Tiago took his first true step towards becoming a hipster and cried when we wouldn't let him drink eggnog latte. We also squished his pretty feet into green and black etnies.. so sweet, and I tried on beautiful silver antler jewellery. We got to Laura's and drank Saskatoon tea and laughed and listened to my friend Mike's band, painted and giggled and relaxed and got warm.. It was wonderful.

Reviews from the Drunk, Cheap and Sick

K-Os - A caveat of sorts to this one. Whatever I might say about this show is tempered by the fact that the tickets were free. So it really could have been the WORST show ever.. and it still wouldn't have been the WORST, be default of the fact that they were free tickets. Makes sense, yes?
My friend Travis and I went to this one on Friday of the long weekend, after watching a somewhat inebreiated and definately false-advertised K-Os give a talk at the school the night before. Now, having any common sense about me, or even using my trusty womens intuition, I should have.. well, intuited that this was not going to be a knock down drag out show. The opening band finished at about 10, and K-Os didn't come on until about 12, to not the most receptive crowd. Given that much time to drink, they were sauced, sore, and ready to leave. And he was drunk. Not a good combo. His sound wasn't great, probably being distorted by his 100proof gin breath, though his band was amazing.. which was good, because when he left the stage for a good 15 minutes in the middle of the set (to vomit I assume) they carried it off by themselves, and actually were really good. At this point we went to grab our jackets... but again.. Free...

Borat - Possible caveat.. I was still somewhat ill, dehydrated and remotely delerious when watching this. So it quite possibly could have been a LOT funnier.. or a lot LESS funny than I thought.
I wanted to see this movie.. but at the same time, because it was such a big deal.. did not want to see it at all. You know me. But sickness and craving a laugh got the better of me, and I have to say.. it was..OK. Was it funny? Definately. Was it the funniest movie ever? Doubtful. But I think precisely because of all the hype, and the fact that the majority of the funny parts were in the previews, that it couldn't POSSIBLY live up to it. It is, however, one of those movies that get incrementally better everytime you think about it, or try to tell somebody else about it.
Far from reflecting badly upon Kazikstan, I would say it was a worse reflection upon the United States, and their levels of tolerance, racism and all round maliciousness.. It was kind of scary actually. Comedic gold.. but scary. Because it was real.. yeeps. I will say I think it needed a higher rating than 14A. Not for language or content, but I think you needed to have a grasp of the fact that some of the jokes were indeed jokes, which at 14, perhaps a Jew joke is a Jew joke is a Jew fact... Naughty Naughty....

Half Nelson - Alright, I might as well admit I saw this film on a date after two pints. So when I say that I didn't really like the handicam look, there may have been no handicam. But I'm pretty sure there was. And it didn't really add or take anything away.
This is getting rave reviews. And I think it's because it's so far removed from Ryan Gosling's turn at the Note Book (he's a crack addict) that he's getting so much press. Don't get me wrong, it was good. He was good. I mean, it was sad and raw and he really did look like a crack addict, replete with hookers and dirt and bloody noses.. But I generally don't go to the movies to be depressed. And this wasn't exactly a hopeful film. At any point. But it's a good film. And it was a five star date. So.. damn.

I'm not the best reviewer this week. I'm the reviewer with one too many drinks, free tickets and a chip on her shoulder. Not to mention I'm sick and delerious. Which may make me more honest.. hmm..

Nylistic

Nylon Magazine now has online versions.. Have I really gone to heaven? You can flip through on your laptop, and never have to figure out where you're going to store the stacks of too hip for me fashion rags at the end of it! Digital revolution.. they were right...

Lusticon.. The Poshlust Lexicon?

Some culminated, culled and created words Ian and I have found/heard/made up. Thought I'd post some of our favorites -

Gaiter - The perenially perky and flamboyantly fastidious gay waiter that can make or break a meal.
Anorsexia - Yes they're gross, yes they're skinny.. but don't you just WANT them? Anorsexics! (closely related to "hipsterexia" - but these people are usually found in stripes listening to emo.)
Bending Corners - Getting grief from somebody, as in "Don't bend my corners just because I'm anorsexy, and you're fat."
Muffin tops - Those fantastic little bits that poke over girls jeans. Replaces "love handles".
Free-licious- The lunch you get at the grocery store if you hit it up at sample time. Alternately, food and drink they serve while you're waiting for your table at a restaurant.
Carpartment - What Ian has on wheels - everything in his house, but in his car. Transferable to "totepartment" for women who have everything in their totes.

Please.. add your own favorites!

Wire Hangers Are For Suckers..

I discovered while doing laundry that I'm accumulating a rather large number of t-shirts. Huh. I like them. They make me happy. Except that I had to fold them all. And then fold them again after I took pictures of them.

Wage Matters

I decided, due to certain financial constraints and whatnot (see: poverty) that I need to get a job. Being a proactive and resourceful young woman, I employed my schools Job's Listing Board to do the work for me. Just plunk in your preference (full-time vs. part-time) your major, and voila - jobs tailored just for you.
Sometimes I like to pretend I'm altruistic, and I look at jobs that, all salary barred, I would like to do just to experience. The way that these postings are laid out, the salary is at the bottom (the first thing that matters, the last they post..) so it helps with the pathetic altruism.
So I hit upon two particular jobs - one as an aide in the mental health ward at the local hospital, one as a city councillor's aide...(the joke is there to be written). They're both very appealing - good hours, interesting work, networking capabilities, possible summer jobs.
Councillors Aide pays 15$ an hour.
Mental Health Aide gets one free beverage voucher per shift.
Right.

All the Kings Horses...

So Ninny Pelosi promised in her first 100 hrs as speaker, she'd raise federal minimum wage from 5.15$ to 7.25$ an hour. Yet Denis Hastert has only just now stepped down. I guess he doesn't want her to make that possible 210$ MORE in her first 100 hrs. Cause that would just be getting uppity. And Rumsfeld may have actual criminal charges brought against him. I forsee a novel? My Own Private Gitmo?

Damn. It's just falling apart over there. And everyone even knows that Dems are baby eaters. *sigh*

Well, Problem Solved.

I Simply Crack My Knuckles

When you have a moment, check out this amazing short film by Sean Ellis. sit down with a cup of tea and watch, and then go to the grocery store. But maybe wear layers.

Get Back on the Fence, Damn It!

CNN Pre-Election Programming -
"Broken Government"
"War on the Middle Class"
"U.S. Democracy the Best Money Can Buy"

CNN Post-Election Programming-
"Lame Duck Congress"
"Coming Home From Iraq"
"If it Walks and Talks Like a Conservative, Can It Be A Dem?"

Saturday Breaky With Ian

"The Democrats Didn't Win, the Republicans Lost" OR "I'm Spontaneously Reguritating, Not Throwing Up."

I should have known it, when I started feeling sick mid-afternoon. I should have known, that the ballots were being counted, the speeches being written, parties being organized or dismantled. The Republicans have lost.. or not lost, but just not won, depending on who you talk to.

With Virginia decided late this afternoon (tentatively, and previous to recounts - 49 to 51) the senate also went to the Dems, in an equally as underwhelming win as the house. I mean really. I've got sodomizing, mistress beating, war mongers on our side, and the best you can do is squeak by? And your best man calls the troops idiots? You didn't even really get a blue house/senate.. it's kinda - purple?

At this point I was vomitting steadily and non-stop. I will now never be able to eat perogies again, nor will I be able to eat broccoli. I haven't felt this awful.. in a long time. My only consolation is that I do the pinched, pale sick look really well, and have been vamping around my place in black clothing attempting to look like I'm wasting away. It's just super.

But it wasn't over. My dearest, squinty-est, steadfast member of the Pentagon - has resigned. Sorta. After many "discussions", real, Texan heart to hearts, my Rumsfeld has taken the morning after the election walk of shame. At least he changed his suit.. Replaced by Robert Gates (of Bush Sr. fame) and culled, interestingly enough, from a think tank working on Iraq exit strategies. How - appropriate.

At this point my naseau has waned to a dull, but tolerable roar - much like the liberals around the world cheering on the pathetic Democrats. Ok, so they're the semi-popular choice. But if they can only manage such a slim win... what kinda choice is that?

Ew. And welcome to Nancy Pelosi. Hey, if Hillary gets elected we have have a big girls sleepover!

Confession

So. I have cheating fingers. A roaming browser eye. a philandering pc. I've not been posting.. Because I've been on Facebook. Obsessivly, unfortunately, and uncharacteristically.. on Facebook.
I swear, it won't happen again. We've spent two years together, Poshlust and I. Two beautiful years, full of updates, beta versions. It's not that Facebook is better looking, or easier, or makes me dinner.. it was just new, and exciting. Something different. But different and exciting wears off, and now.. well.. now I'm back. I can't promise that it won't happen again. But now you know where to reach me, at Facebook.

Waking Up Alone

I Wish I Had A Funeral To Attend

Because that is pretty much the only place that you could wear this hat.
(and I hope that I'm not testing fate with the post title)
('cause I didn't buy the hat...)

Jack The Dripper

Last night, Jackson Pollocks painting "#5" (1948) went for 140 million dollars to a private collection. (Alledgedly, from mogul David Geffen to Mexican financier David Martinez) I can only hope that he's laughing in heaven at all his critics and naysayers - it's the most paid for a single painting in history.

Halloweenies

So what do you get when you mix two suicidal t-shirt maniacs, Arthur Dent, a small dress, me, and toonie Tuesday? Halloween!