In order to be completely certified to work for all oil companies in the North, I was required to take a brief, though laughable, “Bear Aware” course. Shown a video constructed mainly from a bear lover and conservationist perspective, pieced together from various clips of 50’s bear footage and 80’s hikers – mostly what I garnered that was that in the event of a bear attack, one has barely (har har) 5 seconds to determine what to do, and the two actions are vastly different. Allow me to explain.
There are two types of attacks that bears make – predatory and exploratory (bluffs). In the event of an exploratory attack, they will run towards you and rear up at the last moment, all the while clicking their jaws, flailing their paws, and providing the number one laxative known to man. In this even, the video advises calmly identifying yourself as a human, making yourself look as big as possible, and making as much noise as possible, in the hopes that the bear will view you, and your overstuffed North Face backpack as just a smaller and slightly less hairy version of itself.
The second type of attack, predatory, the bear has every intent and purpose of making you into lunch meat. No rearing up, no bluffing. They charge, full bore, until knocking you to the ground and hopefully for your sake, out of consciousness. In the case of this type of attack (which could only be determined in essence in the brief moments where the bear does not bluff and when he crosses the remaining 4 feet to maul you) one is supposed to fall lifelessly to the ground, covering all susceptible veins and hoping for the best.
All this is demonstrated on the video through spliced footage in which a young woman repeats “Whoa bear” to the right, cut with footage of a bear on the left, ambling amicably away off to play with Piglet and dip into his honey pot, content that he has been calmly notified of your presence.
I have encountered but one bear in my life, the black bear I mistook for a Doberman pinscher on our picnic table when I was approximately 10 years old. And I had to get my brother to close the back door so frozen in fear was I. I am hoping for better results, now aimed with my bear aware knowledge. Given that my choices are a)act like a bear and b) cover major ventricals.. I’ll let you know.
There are two types of attacks that bears make – predatory and exploratory (bluffs). In the event of an exploratory attack, they will run towards you and rear up at the last moment, all the while clicking their jaws, flailing their paws, and providing the number one laxative known to man. In this even, the video advises calmly identifying yourself as a human, making yourself look as big as possible, and making as much noise as possible, in the hopes that the bear will view you, and your overstuffed North Face backpack as just a smaller and slightly less hairy version of itself.
The second type of attack, predatory, the bear has every intent and purpose of making you into lunch meat. No rearing up, no bluffing. They charge, full bore, until knocking you to the ground and hopefully for your sake, out of consciousness. In the case of this type of attack (which could only be determined in essence in the brief moments where the bear does not bluff and when he crosses the remaining 4 feet to maul you) one is supposed to fall lifelessly to the ground, covering all susceptible veins and hoping for the best.
All this is demonstrated on the video through spliced footage in which a young woman repeats “Whoa bear” to the right, cut with footage of a bear on the left, ambling amicably away off to play with Piglet and dip into his honey pot, content that he has been calmly notified of your presence.
I have encountered but one bear in my life, the black bear I mistook for a Doberman pinscher on our picnic table when I was approximately 10 years old. And I had to get my brother to close the back door so frozen in fear was I. I am hoping for better results, now aimed with my bear aware knowledge. Given that my choices are a)act like a bear and b) cover major ventricals.. I’ll let you know.
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