Boys, men, gentlemen - I give up. You are wretched and awful and you don't call and when you do you're wretched and awful. And I think I'm ok until you call or I see you and I feel like I'm not. So I give up. I'm going to be fabulous, single, lovely me, who smells good and has dirty feet and I don't look pretty at all hours of the day and I WILL NOT sleep with my makeup on, and when I cry I look horrible and have to put an icepack to my face the next morning for hours, and I fart. Oh yeah, and I hate when you slap my butt or point out pretty girls, and you know what? I am a jealous person. But I'm also very giving, and sweet, and I love cooking and cleaning and babies and laughter and getting drunk and all those stupid corny lovey-dovey things. And I LIKE making lunches and having parties and being in love, but goddamn it, you all just SUCK. And if that isn't a personal ad..
So there. I'm single. And I'm going to wreck you all with my dedication to it, because you all.. just.. hurt my heart.
*amendment - exceptions are as follows. Ian, my brother, my father, Sabrina's T, Matt, H, C, T downstairs. For all obvious, and not so obvious, reasons.
So there. I'm single. And I'm going to wreck you all with my dedication to it, because you all.. just.. hurt my heart.
*amendment - exceptions are as follows. Ian, my brother, my father, Sabrina's T, Matt, H, C, T downstairs. For all obvious, and not so obvious, reasons.
1 comment:
I would never expect someone to sleep with make-up on. That's just stupid. It'll mess up the sheets :) Pointing out pretty girls? I'm not suicidal. At the very least, it would put the lady in a bad mood. If she's in a bad mood, she puts me in a bad mood. So that no good either. But the butt slapping thing, I have to say guilty as charged. But I always do it playfully, not demeaningly (although some women might say there's no difference). And I don't do it in public, unless I forget myself :P Farting? Ah yes, she can rip a good one. But we just laugh (after gagging) about it. Dirty feet though, I don't know about that one. She keeps 'em pretty clean :P
But yeah! Men are sorry creatures! I myself am lazy; I hate washing dishes or cleaning the toilet.
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