My mom told me once that sometimes the things that we love the most, can be the worst things for us. For the longest time I wanted to believe that she meant carbs or cigarettes or cheap booze.
I had a dream about Bryan. Where I told him everything I thought, everything I ever wanted him to hear, about him, about me, about us, where he just listened, and understood for once. And I realised so much. And when I woke up, I felt better.
And I understood. Like giving up carbs, like cheap booze and cigarettes, when you give them up - it still hurts, you still crave them. And maybe, it always will. Just a little.
I had a dream about Bryan. Where I told him everything I thought, everything I ever wanted him to hear, about him, about me, about us, where he just listened, and understood for once. And I realised so much. And when I woke up, I felt better.
And I understood. Like giving up carbs, like cheap booze and cigarettes, when you give them up - it still hurts, you still crave them. And maybe, it always will. Just a little.
2 comments:
Sounds like your mom is one smart cookie! It also sounds like Bryan has lost out on a great girl.
I think Bryan is finally going to be put in a little box in your heart and mind - after a while you will take him out without pain, have a look and will realise that he was a very, very bad for you. Like cigarettes - they are cool to try but you will eventually have to give them up to be happy and healthy. The pain will pass the thoughts of "what if" may never. But that's okay. I'm so proud of you my beautiful daughter. Love Mom xxoo
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