Saturday, January 20, 2007

The Gym

So I'm holding fast to my New Years resolution of visiting the gym on a daily basis. I think visiting may be the wrong word. Visiting kinda sounds like I go there to see friends, or hang out, or have tea. Which, while preferable, is not what I am doing. 45 minutes running and 45 minutes weights/sit-ups and various other machines do not a "visit" make.

But I've discovered, like some sort of athleta-sociologist, that the Gym has entirely it's own culture and kind of people - it's a country unto itself! I'm sure that the demographics change over the day, that at 6am there is a different kind of people there than at noon or at night, but the ones I see.. well..

Elliptical Elise's - The girls who wear their make-up - nay, touch up their make-up- to go to the gym. Their workout clothes are pristine and matching, often top of the line. They are never seen anywhere but on the elliptical machines, often reading a magazine. They ALWAYS bring their own towels.

Ancient Andrew and Anne - A newer addition to our gym, where the 55+ program is in full swing, they more often have many differing supports, various knee braces and whatnot, and either orthopedic shoes, or penny loafers. They look like they're about to snap in two at any moment, but actually have amazing strength - probably from living through 2 world wars.

Gym Gerald - Focused, fit, and completely into checking himself, and you, out. For example, our particular Gym Gerald often checks me out at 6 in the morning, despite the fact my gym socks don't match, I've got zit cream on my face, pillow lines on my neck and am picking my wedgie. Last I spoke to him he askd "what are you working on" and I replied "not being fat." He doesn't talk to me anymore.

Serious Sid and Sydney - Tanned, muscled and gleaming, they are the reason that other people go to the gym - to look like them. Beat up yet expensive gym wear, they can consistently go faster, longer and lift more than you, making it look so effortless that they might as well be making a souffle on the side. Worse, they actually look like they enjoy it.

And the current most popular gym personality..

New Years Nancy - (ME!) - Showing real tenacity and stick-to-itiveness, they show up at 6am for the first two weeks, taking only Sundays off. Then, it gets to be 7 am, they start working out every other day, then only show up to Yoga, then they dissapear, leaving only a locker of hopes and dreams of looking like Jessica Alba, and one lone, smelly sock. Until next January.

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