It’s so unbelievably hot here. This weekend it was 50 degrees in the sun, the hottest I’ve ever been in my life. The wind doesn’t help at all, they don’t have cool breezes here. You roll down your window in the car, in the hopes of something cool blowing your way – and instead you get a face full of what feels like a blowdryer. It was unbelievable. When you walk out of your front door, it’s like opening an oven.
The heat really doesn’t do too much for ones appearance either. Make-up is just a lost cause, as is doing your hair; after an hour in the heat, both of them have slid down around your waist and proceed to stay there. This lovely thing happens where your ankles swell and your toes get burnt by the sun, while the rest of you miraculously avoids getting a tan at all. Meanwhile, your sunglasses are creating some kind of oven between the lenses and your face, so that you have to take them off every 5 minutes lest you parboil your eyeballs. Allowing, of course, all the sweat on your brow to rush down and sting your blinking eyes that have just been exposed to ten million UVB/UVA rays.
While all this is happening, your body is trying to rid itself of any excess weight, usually in the form of sweat, not fat, as I’ve instructed it so many times. I’ve discovered that places that I never knew sweat – do indeed do so, and at alarming rates. The back of ones knees for instance. Or your ears. My favourite, of course, is when it gets so hot that I appear to be lactating. Always attractive.
The mornings and evenings offer little, if any reprieve at all. It’s already 30 degrees by 8:30am, with a usual projected high of about 45. 50 degrees when we’re really lucky. The evening is pretty much the same. It doesn’t go down past 25-30 often.
So, my bigger question is – how on earth am I going to live through a Canadian winter again? Where my hottest day here and my coldest day there have a difference of almost 100 degrees between them? I’ll be praying for a blowdryer then.. I have no doubt.
The heat really doesn’t do too much for ones appearance either. Make-up is just a lost cause, as is doing your hair; after an hour in the heat, both of them have slid down around your waist and proceed to stay there. This lovely thing happens where your ankles swell and your toes get burnt by the sun, while the rest of you miraculously avoids getting a tan at all. Meanwhile, your sunglasses are creating some kind of oven between the lenses and your face, so that you have to take them off every 5 minutes lest you parboil your eyeballs. Allowing, of course, all the sweat on your brow to rush down and sting your blinking eyes that have just been exposed to ten million UVB/UVA rays.
While all this is happening, your body is trying to rid itself of any excess weight, usually in the form of sweat, not fat, as I’ve instructed it so many times. I’ve discovered that places that I never knew sweat – do indeed do so, and at alarming rates. The back of ones knees for instance. Or your ears. My favourite, of course, is when it gets so hot that I appear to be lactating. Always attractive.
The mornings and evenings offer little, if any reprieve at all. It’s already 30 degrees by 8:30am, with a usual projected high of about 45. 50 degrees when we’re really lucky. The evening is pretty much the same. It doesn’t go down past 25-30 often.
So, my bigger question is – how on earth am I going to live through a Canadian winter again? Where my hottest day here and my coldest day there have a difference of almost 100 degrees between them? I’ll be praying for a blowdryer then.. I have no doubt.
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