Somebody Call the Wambulance.

First Aid is very utilitarian. "Do what you can immediately to prevent loss of life, no matter the everlasting damage." "Life over limb." "You can know what you're doing now is helping, what happens later, you can't know." You give them CPR, even if you break their ribs, you tie off arteries even if you lose a limb. You can never know whats GOING to happen, but you know what you can do right now.

I took my first aid course for both my jobs today. 15 students and an instructor intent on horrifying and shocking us with stories of lupus limb losing and drunken ear removals, vomit in his breathing apparatus. I was sandwhiched between an Arab man who kept asking why exactly every step of every procedure existed, and a woman really excited about going to Vegas to play pool. I now know the most trivial, non-sensical facts, and basically how to get in the way of a paramedic. It seems like they all have this funny chip on their shoulder, and I'm pretty sure it says "I wanted to be a paramedic, but instead I'm an unpaid St. Johns Ambulance volunteer who pretends that attending concerts in my dorky uniform is what I really want to do".

But hey, I'm certified again. I am now licenced to apply pressure.